When I was just a young girl, I felt such rejection, loss, and despair. What went wrong? How did it all fall apart? I surely had made some horrible mistake that caused my father to walk away and start a life without us. Our Mother was broken and cried so much! How would we make it? What would we do? Where would we go? We had to leave our new home, our school, our church, and all our friends behind, not knowing what would happen to us.
I actually felt like a rag doll with no strength or courage to go on. But You, Lord, became the one that I called upon. I am grateful for your love that brought me to my knees as my heart cried out in despair. You picked me up and gave me courage to face the life I felt was utterly destroyed. I was amazed that you could bring life to something that felt so lifeless, so dead, so empty. You put a smile back on my face as I was flooded by your great mercy and grace.
You filled me with your Spirit and put a song in my heart. You allowed me to sing in many different places: my church, other churches, larger church gatherings, and Youth Camp. You, Lord, gave me a purpose, and I began to allow you to be my Hope. You even brought my Daddy back home. It was not always easy, but you put our family back together.
I saw your hand of guidance and protection everywhere. I learned that I could trust you and there was no need for despair. You looked down through time and counted me worthy to become your child. So I must never forget your willing heart to obey your Father. There is no greater sacrifice than when you accepted your assignment and walked the dusty road to die on Calvary's wretched cross. You washed me in the blood you shed and made all my sin as white as snow. You picked me up from my hopeless life and took away my sinful guilt, which freed me from the debt I never could repay.
Lord, I must Trust You to work Your will in my life daily. I surrender to You at this moment and every moment. Please help me to stay surrendered. That is the only way for me to feel secure. Lord, sometimes the path seems too steep, and You must hold my hand, even carry me when the way seems long, difficult, and scary. I love you, Lord, and I am still learning to accept your love for me. I feel unworthy!
Help me to always follow in your ways. Lord, this is not an easy prayer, but neither was your prayer as you prayed all night and concluded with, “Father, Not my will but thine be done!" Lord, I Will Trust In You!
